dear diary, 23.12.2017--

i lay in my room silently,

looking at the wall silently,
sparkling warm white light, heavy rain pouring out outside,

sometimes I want to be alone,
stays in my room alone,
for the longest time,
Sometimes, I want to put everything that have been bothering my heart, away,
throwing out everything that suffocates me.
and just silently lay on my bed , thinking about nothing. a blank mind without thinking of anything.
but the time stops me,
it stops me from taking a break,
the dream of wanting to lay in my bed and not thinking of anything and putting everything away for a moment stops.
the tickling time rushes me,
taking back everything that I want to let go for bit, putting it back inside of my heart, suffocating me, it stays,
and this unseen burden,
eating me up inside, and I am left, raw, losing my mind--