good at it

It was momentary.
The end of her lips slightly moves, receiving signal to force a smile,
Her eyes slowly close abit forcing an act
Her cheeks goes up, perfecting the lie that shes always good at,
Now you could see, a perfectly imperfect girl who seems to be happy more than anyone could be in this whole universe.
Because shes always good at it, even the best—

care-fool

I've become more careful at love.
Horribly waiting for someone that will make me fall for them.
Not knowing if I could possibly facing another heartbreak.
Every beautiful creature that snaps my heart beat, that shook it hard,
Makes me cry my heart out.
I know, long before you told me-
Things never worked out,
will never, will not

/t.jz

Laki yang menyamankan

Yakinlah.
Pasti tuhan sudah menyiapkan laki-laki yang bisa memenuhi kebutuhan mu.
Yang bisa membuat hati mu nyaman dan tenang,
Yang butuh memberikan rasa tenang yang bisa cuman diberi ayahmu.
Yakinlah,
Dalam sejuta laki-laki yang kau lihat tidak bisa memenuhi sifat ayahmu itu,
Mereka itu bukan dicipta buatmu,
Tetapi dicelahnya punya satu yang bisa,
Dicipta istimewa persis apa yang kamu mahu,
Asal saja kebaikan yang kamu mahu,
Dia sedang dipersiap tuhan,
Dipersiap terbaik buatmu,
Yang Cumannya sekarang, 
Tugasmu itu harus perbaiki juga dirimu
Dan yakin yakin yakin—

/. Ponorogo, 090917

Plain

See nothing 'out of the ordinary',
Just a plain, boring face,
But once a smile pasted on his face,
Everything becomes, beautiful—

t.jz

self-less/fish

                        let me be selfish for once, for you,
I want to be selfish to have your heart and you,
To be your favourite reason for your laugh,
To be your favourite reason for your smile,
I want to be selfish for you,
I want to be your all time favourite, among your ex crush and your ex lover.
I want to be selfish and be your favourite forever.
But its even impossible to start with when all I see is you,                                              and her.

t.jz

hellish days

Her voice rhyme just like the rain.
Her smile grace just like the dress.
Her speech smooth just like the bud.
And among the good things, 
she had faced the pain like hell back then--

t.jz

Longing

You're a beautiful creature, with a beautiful heart, but you're long gone,
and everyone misses you--

t.jz

mine

your voice caught me, 

and drag me to love you, 

now I am stuck between this love 

& the pain of loving someone that will never be mine--

 t.jz

content--

because seeing you happy, 

that makes me content, 

although deep down, I am broken, 

because it is not with me-- 

t.jz

two and three

Two,

we are beautiful fate passing by each other,

Three,

But with a friend by my side,

It suddenly becomes sorrowful goodbyes--

t.jz

one sided 3,

You are the beautiful mistake that I wish I could erase,

You are the painful memories that I wish I could forget,

You are the one that I love and hate and I know you don’t 

t.jz

one sided wuv,

those smile of yours, are sweet
but the reasons behind that smile, are bitter.
and you are always a bittersweet for me--

t.jz

one sided,

I never thought I could madly in love with a blind person,

who don't see how I feel, nor hear what my heart says--

t.jz

| Malaysia. 060616. 1241hrs |

Saat bahasamu berkata-kata,
Meski dari tulisanmu, mahupun bicaramu.
Aku seakan terkena magis.
Aku jatuh cinta dengan kata-katamu, seakan punya makna sesuatu yang membuatkan aku mengenalmu.
Setiap kata-katamu seakan berbicara denganku tentang dirimu
Membuat aku jadi mahu lebih mengenalmu.
Aku jatuh cinta, walau dengan kata-kata. Seakan tiada logika, namun aku telah jatuh cinta.
Tapi cintaku hanya berpegang pada kata-katamu,
Kerna kau jauh fiziknya.
Hatimu juga. Jauh sudah terpaut pada dia.
Aku masih jatuh cinta. Denganmu, dan kata-katamu,
Meski tiada lagi ruang aku menjadi bahagian kata-katamu itu.

-jtj

| KL. 0246am. 30052016|

setiap waktu, aku mencuba, sedaya baik, 

mengambil tahu tentang kamu, 

menanti dari cebis-cebis kata-kata tulisanmu,

menanti kata-kata bermakna yang senantiasa membuatkan aku tersenyum sendirian.

ada waktu manusia hanya perlu kata untuk cinta,

ada waktu manusia tidak perlu bahasa bicara, cukup sekedar bahasa tubuh,

sama sepertiku, setiap tulisanmu yang ku tunggu,

kerana itu sahaja cara aku tahu apa khabar kamu jauh disana,

karena itu sahja caranya aku mengenalmu dengan lebih dalam,

kerana kita tak pernah berbicara lebih, kita masih punya batas,

aku dan kamu tak punya apa-apa yang bisa dibawa diskusi, aku juga malu sendiri,

percayalah, aku disini, masih menjadi pembaca setia tulisanmu, juga suaramu. 

aku masih di sini, masih menunggu senantiasa khabarmu tanpa kamu sadari. 

kerana aku, adalah pencinta tulisanmmu dalam diam++

-jtj

| Malaysia. 1934hrs. 190516 |

I saw him, and I like him,
I see him, and I like him,
and now even when I don't see him, I still like him.
I need no reason to like him,
I need no evident to show that I like him.
Its a one sided, with one heart and one hope.
that I will forever like him and He will not.

-jtj

| X2 Residency. 1106am. 230416 |

Crooked smile,
Gloomy storm painted across his face,

His eyes seems gray,

Very serious

Very mysterious, 

I hope to bring rainbow to that beautiful face.

I hope to bring joy to his enigmatic eyes.

I hope I'll be the one to turn the soulless smile into mine,

And bring out the sorrow out of himself--

-jtj 

| Puchong Prima. 1154pm. 220416|

If I can,

I would ask you to look at me for a second,

And magically, with That one  second,

I can make you fall for me--

-jtj

| KL. 0919pm. 210416 |

아빠,
those days,
she hope she could erase it from her memory,
the blade through the flesh,
leaving scars,
the rough skin meets the face hard,
leaving bruise,

those hurtful memories,

she hope she could forget,

those days,

she prays for an amnesia,

   wish that

  could wake up with amnesia

leaving those painful memories behind,

stopping the grunting,

stopping the dark horror,

those days,

that makes her endures the pain alone,

that makes each day such a torment,

torturing, 

making her traumatized,

and scared,

and feared,

and she is almost grown,

those days that still scares her,

like it will happen again,

and she might get hurt again,

and the fear stays forever,

haunted her--

-rr

| KL. 0841pm. 210416 |

within this room I find myself,
the place where its not mine,
the air that I can breath,
without feeling suffocated,

within this room,

the pain becomes numb,

without aching and breaking,

giving me space to feel the life.

within this room,

my little escape becomes reality,

sleepless night slowly ended,

the peace approaching me. 

within this room,

I know this is not bad life,

its just a bad day,

that will end soon-

someday--

-rr