dia menangis lagi, kemudian dia tertawa dalam esak tangisnya.
malam itu, seperti malam yang lainnya,
dia menahan suaranya dari menjerit segunung hatinya yang gundah,
soal betapa takutnya dia dengan segala sesuatu,
soal betapa gerunnya dia dengan segala macam perkara,
soal hari-hari mendatang yang entah bagaiman harus dia tampal senyum,
soal usaha apa lagi yang harus dilaku untuk menutup duka berbuku dalam jiwa,
penat menjadi dia,
harus menahan rasa sedang tak ada yang suruh, namun dia perlu,
supaya tak merusak vibe katanya.
I cant write anymore.
But I know I need to, or else I can't face the day
For at least this written words will sooth bit of what's in my heart and mind.
For at least I can hold everything inside till the next day night comes again, -to cry
all these worries, and fears, I wish it will stop,
every smile that I paste on, or the laugh I burst, behind it was a mere act, which I know will fade when I am alone later.
I don't know when will this come to its end, but I wish it will someday. I'll be eagerly waiting for it to come true, by the right person or at the right time.
as before that day comes, I'll just need to live this endless dreadful day passing by one by one-
my heart feels so heavy, like all the sadness of the whole world were kept here,
it came out through tears and heavy sigh,
my heart feels so suffocating, like all the trouble of the whole universe were saved here,
it comes out through these words written and the frown of my brow.
when will it end, when will the comfort end this pitiful suffer
unconcealed, but shifted-
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