I am in a process of changing . Fighting this one habit of
mine which I Cant win against it until now , do pray for me . Thanks .
When I am thinking about my life , compare it with others ,
There’ll always bad and good , Sometimes Yeah , because I am no Angel , I
always compared their “How good their life is.” With mine which I think its not
very enjoyable to live on . and again , normal place when I was selfi-ing and
lots of input and its kinda of a successful selfie-ing is in the toilet , when
I was taking bath . I don’t know why , but that is the most place that I gained
lots of things , reflecting myself .
Tbh , Ive got lots of thing and Ilmu fro lots of programs .
Some of it was LKD – Latihan Kader Duat . Basically , the program is for Alumni
of Musleh Branches around Malaysia . I was apart of that program , which is I
was the Peserta of the program . Tak payah cerita , Dari Illa Liya’buduun ,
Syahadatul Haq , Ini Sejarah Kita (ISK) – (Like what was mentioned in Novel
Suami Aku Ustz,which I think the writer is ‘orang berfikrah’ sebab dia dapat
dan tau pasal ISK ), Ini Peranan Kita , Sejarah Usrah , Jalan Dakwah , Semua
buku-buku yang kalau nowadays , been catogerized as Books that usually Mak Cik
, Pakcik Baca , but we’re actually bedah buku tu , some of it lah .
But then , (Ive lost my points. Whatdafish I don’t know What
I am trying to sampaikan now.) All of
that , just as something that I only gained basically , without even practice
it , spread it , be a propagator of the ummah
ydayada , cliché words , cliché sentences that usually Daei used .
(Kahkah), Hanya setakat itu , that’s it . Then I think and I feel tht I am the
Lamest human being on Earth because I aint used it to help the ummah pun , But
still with my jahilliyah , lagha stuff everyday , Laughing , singing ,
Fangirling , Selfie-ing overdose -,-
But , one day , Allah actually Ilhamkan , that when I was in
bathroom , its kinda popped out from my so-not-clver-mind of mine, that’s
“Everytime you wake up in the morning whether to perform your Fajr Prayer or ,
When you want to take Sahoor , or even when you wants to do qiam , its actually
a chance . That Allah grant you , to change and become a better muslim that’s
qualified insyaAllah to enter his Jannah Al-Firdaus .” So , even if you’re as
bad as the demon , You think you’re the most baddass human being , but still there’ll always a way for you to
become a new one , a new muslim which is more “Mukmeen and Muslim” . Everybody
deserves Jannah and Everybody deserves to have second , third , even hundredth
chances to change as long as we still live in this world . Tiada kata “I am
going to be in Hellfire , I am bad person . God Wont forgive me , all my
wrong-doings are just too much, Yadayadayayda.” If you’re still breathing , if
you still can think as a human being , then you still have a chance . And
Changing is about Mujahadah , Our jihad to fight against our Nafs and make it
our Hamba not as the king that’s controlling ourself. And even if along the way
, you’re actually Futur—down , or jatuh ,
getting back to ur jahiliyah or maksiah , get up and walk again , until
the finished Line. Tho , I admitted its not an easy task , its not an easy
mujahadah, but insyaAllah its worth it in the end . Fighting for goods and
trying for Jannah is not a crime . Cliché heh.
And I am in a process of Changing to be Mukmeen and a better
Musleem , How about you ?!
“Sebab Sorga tu terlalu Luas untuk aku tinggal sorang, Mandi
dalam air sungai susu is so boring bila sensorang. Sebab Sensorang is so
forever-alone.”