I can't remember when, the exactly date and day,but I was depressed before.
Its like everyday, suicidal thoughts comes knocking on my mind and make it like their home.
possessed me, change me to be more introvert than I used to, change me to be more extrovert than I am right now. Things are hard. I cant sleep early evry night. I cried for no reason, It just feel like I am a complete jerk, and I cried. I hate myself, I hate myself for not trusting people who work hard to help me to solve my problem. I keep on reminding myself to be strong but I caught myself trying to cuts and cuts. I keep on reminding myself to stop all this nonsense but I caught myself still crying and hurting myself. Things like cuts became addictive. I changed into someone that I dont even think I am going to be when I was in the passed. The urge to tell someone how I feel, how hurt it is in my heart, how frustrating it is things in my mind, but I just can't because all I can hear was all negative things about how all those people think about me. 'Annoying, bossy, attention seeker, loser, jerk, psycho, crazy, mad.' and I decided not to tell anyone, shut myself, and cry more.
//things wont change if you dont want to change yourself, thats what I learnt.
