14.9.16

no matter how hard I try to remind myslf that I can overcome this fear. How much I try to ask for other people's help. I can't never be able to wipe this tears away. I can't never hold myself from screaming inside. Those painful past in haunting me and killing me from the inside. I can never blamed them. Its my fault. for letting myself to be so observant and seeing things on my own. Its my fault for behaving that certain way whenI was young. It's my fault. Everyday is like hellish. Everynight is a painful moment. Nobody will tell me that its going to be okay. Nobody will cease this fire. Nobody will... this fear inside me feels like it will never end. and I wish I could run and die. I wish that I don't have to live anymore. This fear is eating me up. This is fear is scarring me. This is fear is killing me, I want to forget about the past. I want to forget. I want to live normal. I want to be normal. but this fear stops me. I am tired. I am scared. I am scared of being scared on things I shouldnt. God. I want to run.
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'Let Go and Let God?'

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