forgotten

it's kinda awkward for people to realized your pain, 

or when they see your scars from the last night cuts, 

or when they see you cried so utterly,

it's so uncomfortable for me, 

ever since I was young, I always thought that nobody loves me,

my brother always make fun of me, 

I've been bullied since I was 6 when I was in boarding school,

the fact that I was being sent to a hostel that early makes me think that they really don't love me,

It was hard for me to trust people around me when they say the words love, 

I've been thinking about running from home since I was so little, and thinking about killing myself since I was in primary school. and It doesn't even slip out of my head since that,

it just that I don't know how, 

How I can do it so that I'll surely die. 

I want to be forgotten,

I don't want to be remembered so that people won't really feel sad even if they love me and they know I was dead, 

I want to go from this world silently, without a single person know. 

this is so tiring, 

especially when people realized your pain, 

it makes harder for me to go,

I just don't want people to remember me, 

I am just tired, and I want to go, 

but how?