The unknown

 

Its hard to ignore the fact that you feel empty for so long already, but you still can cry over small petty things that makes you feel pathetic.

Because of the emptiness that have been there, you try to look for every reason to fill it up again.

Everything just matter, every lives affects you. The tears that comes out of nowhere, everytime, makes you question yourself just what and why are you shedding tears. you feel like you are longing for something but you don't know what it is. The loneliness are your best friend but you can't figure out what you can do to make it better. 

Questioning yourself, doubting every possible thread of hope you have, everyday, every minute. 

What life actually have ahead of you? Just what you wanna do with your life? Everything seems blurry. You have no passion to live, to breath.

A few times you caught yourself crying. While you just sit and stare at the cloud, or while you were just reading random joke, you suddenly feel the sudden urge to scream like there's something stuck inside you. And you cry. Sometimes the tears just fall down your cheek slowly and you feel sad all of sudden. You don't understand why. You try to ignore but it becomes overwhelmed and haunt you. When you are alone, you'll be screaming and sobbing like crazy, gasping for air, feeling suffocating, wanting it to stop, and wanting to die.

With no dreams, no reason to live. You try to hold on.

Dear, you just hold on to those undefined questions and unanswered confusion. But you stil hope, you'll find the answer someday. To all the questions and confusion. And make peace with your past. 

Live, tho you need to cuts here and there.

Live, tho you might hurt yourself here and there.

There is still hope, when you are living—